Secrets, and thoughts

I thought I had so many secrets.
Secrets that I would never tell anyone about.
not only that, I was always shy and felt uncomfortable talking about myself in general. i don't know why but doing so creates fears. causes uneasiness, even stressful sometimes.

while i was reluctant to tell mine,
I thought i would be very curious to know about other's secrets.
so I took a survey of 100 people to tell what they think of as their major secrets.
they include my best friends, families, acquaintances, friends of their friends, strangers.. etc.
a few refused, some wrote like an essay,
some were anonymous, and to my surprise, quite many were with names.

But the funny thing was that as I read out those secrets,
I felt like the secrets people told didn't feel as secretive as they seemed at all.
I said to myself,
"who cares if you had crush on Mickey?" (well, Mickey might have cared but, really?)
"so what if you never had sex?" or,
"oh, i've done exactly the same thing so how's that even a secret?"

after reading the secret surveys for a while i kind of got bored
and had no interest to read more of it.
(regardless of whether i know whose or don't)
what hit me was not so much of the content of the secrets,
but the fact that secrets are only secrets to oneself who keeps the secret.
in other words, their secrets are important only to themselves, and mine to myself.
it's funny how i first actually took effort to take the surveys,
thinking that i would be curious to find out other's secrets,
but realized that i am always so full of myself that i don't even really
(i mean really) care or interested enough about other's secrets.
And then also I looked back and remembered
whenever my friends say to me, "don't tell this to anyone, it's a secret"
i would say i won't tell anyone, and then forgetting about the whole thing right after.
secrets (whether to keep or reveal) are therefore really for the secret keeper itself,
and not for or because of anyone else. (maybe even the person involved or targeted in that particular secret)


so i asked myself, would others feel the same way?
why don't i tell my secrets and see their response?
what motivates people to keep secrets or reveal secrets, anyway?




and these thoughts triggered me to come up with the idea for my next project.
i want to try telling my secrets now.
to do so, im thinking of designing a series of underwear,
each containing one or more of my secrets.
I will design them conceptually according to the content of my secrets.
as a way of displaying them, i want to design an exhibition of some sort, with background set and etc..
and that will be my installation.
i might be wearing them and do a set of photoshoot too.

but when i make the underwears, i'm not sure how to show my secrets yet... simply write on them?i will design them conceptually but how do i show or say the specific content of the secret?